relentless restlessness (dense with intention)
returns to this head swathed in sensation,
disdaining meditation, incapable of placating,
meaning-inebriated, drunk with signification.
daily the monkeys come roaring through
sliced, slanted light spilled between blinds.
shadow erased and sun splayed, I crawl
toward the sea, birds of propriety circle
overhead and dive, claws stretched wide
as my eyes while I beg again the world to
go black. to blink back into darkness,
to sink me again into the only solace,
the only remedy: inky sea of tranquility.
only darkness can hold me. only all
shadowing diurnal death console me.
I am always alone, and regarding
this, the night has never lied to me.
whatever dreams of connection I’ve
concocted, the yawning shadow of
sun-abandoned sky has returned to
remind me: I am unmoored; I am
castaway; I am uncharted, unsought,
unexplored, unclaimed. unnamed.
the bottom of black sea my only home.
help me return to me.